Making a mistake shows the depth of our humanity. The forgiveness of those around you shows the height of mercy. The only appropriate response is gratefulness. The hardest part in the aftermath of your mistake is attempting to forgive yourself. Especially if your mistake had an all too often ripple effect on those around you. This is the part that I struggle with most and dare say I'm not the only one. Not to say I am quick to forgive when someone else hurts me. However, I feel honestly that I have considerably an easier time forgiving them than myself. My question is.... WHY?
If I can dole out grace and have enough love and mercy for others mistakes, then why do I hold myself to this unrealistic expectation that I should be perfect? Loving NFL football the way I do, Michael Vick comes to mind. He had one of the best games of his career this weekend. Talk about redemption! For those of you who are not familiar with him, he is the quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles. He served 18 months in prison for being in charge of a dog fighting ring. He is now on probation for 3 years during which he may not own a dog. Michael Vick showed poised leadership when his team was considerably behind going into the 4th quarter. He played a huge part in getting his team a victory which no one thought could happen. Redemption had at last come for Michael Vick. At least in the arena of public opinion. I can't help but wonder if he has forgiven himself. I hope for his sake that he has. Knowing firsthand the agony of self-loathing, I wish for everyone the relief of self-forgiveness.
I know with my heart that being a Christian is to be CHRIST focused, not me focused. As such.... just as being prideful would be a sin, being focused on hating your mistakes and hating yourself is just as sinful and in effect tells Jesus that his death was in vain. I find it difficult to remain in the peaceful hammock of God's grace. Seems like I flip out of it quite often in fact. I want to be perfect, and one day I will be. The sanctification process will be complete when i die and I will not fail myself anymore, those that love me, and most importantly the God who loves me and the Savior who freed me. For now... my plan is to try to focus on Christ and not me.... not my successes which i should always attribute to the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit nor my failures which are too many to number. As Paul said, ( i think its Paul ) the Spirit is willing and the flesh is weak. As Michael Vick should say, I forgive myself, because Christ forgave me and now I am worth following on more than fantasy football. Today, I will forgive me and move on with Jesus. At least I will try to. :)
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