A new year..... A new beginning

New Years is always a reflective time for me and for most people I suppose. I have mixed emotions about the ending of a year and the beginning on a new one. Its always refreshing to let go of all the bad things that happened. Its realizing that you are also moving farther from the good things, that brings the sudden blue feeling. It's the same feeling I get when I come across kindergarten art work from my 8th grader. Saying goodbye to a place in time you will only revisit in memories is a strange and sometimes overwhelming sensation. Have you ever been impressed with the fact that since God is omniscient, He knows what the next year holds? More than ever, I am glad to not know. Realizing that part of what makes life exciting is not knowing where you are going or what life holds for me, has slowly become a soothing and comforting concept for me. Whereas , once I held on tightly to my illusion of having control of my life, I  now find peace in letting go and floating on God's sailboat.
       Life is meant to be lived. Life is meant to be enjoyed, dare I say, even savored. To feel the highs and lows and go through the changes that life inevitably brings to us all and in the midst of the chaos of holding on to the only anchor that doesn't move.... we find out that He, God, is our only CONSTANT. He doesn't move, or change, or evolve. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever! 2010 will slip into the  past, while 2011 becomes the now. Let that thought, that TRUTH live in your heart and mine in the New Year as we all face an uncertain future with a certain God who knows it all before we get there. Let a New Year allow us the freedom to hope for things we dared not to hope for before. To dream bigger dreams than we have dreamt  before. Let us celebrate that God has made us NOT to know what lies ahead so that we may in the beauty of our humanness hope ... just HOPE for more. Who knows? God could have placed those very dreams in our heart so that when He fulfills them we will truly KNOW GOD and see Him in His Glory and leave our puny dreams behind and grasp the vision of HIS GLORY. Happy New Year friends! May our lives bless God, and may God bless 2011!

When you mess up...........

       Making a mistake shows the depth of our humanity. The forgiveness of those around you shows the height of mercy. The only appropriate response is gratefulness. The hardest part in the aftermath of your mistake is attempting to forgive yourself. Especially if your mistake had an all too often ripple effect on those around you. This is the part that I struggle with most and dare say I'm not the only one. Not to say I am quick to forgive when someone else hurts me. However, I feel honestly that I have considerably an easier time forgiving them than myself. My question is.... WHY?
      If I can dole out grace and have enough love and mercy for others mistakes, then why do I hold myself to this unrealistic expectation that I should be perfect? Loving NFL football the way I do, Michael Vick comes to mind. He had one of the best games of his career this weekend. Talk about redemption! For those of you who are not familiar with him, he is the quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles. He served 18 months in prison for being in charge of a dog fighting ring. He is now on probation for 3 years during which he may not own a dog. Michael Vick showed poised leadership when his team was considerably behind going into the 4th quarter. He played a huge part in getting his team a victory which no one thought could happen. Redemption had at last come for Michael Vick. At least in the arena of public opinion. I can't help but wonder if he has forgiven himself. I hope for his sake that he has. Knowing firsthand the agony of self-loathing, I wish for everyone the relief of self-forgiveness.
         I know with my heart that being a Christian is to be CHRIST focused, not me focused. As such.... just as being prideful would be a sin, being focused on hating your mistakes and hating yourself is just as sinful and in effect tells Jesus that his death was in vain. I find it difficult to remain in the peaceful hammock of God's grace. Seems like I flip out of it quite often in fact. I want to be perfect, and one day I will be. The sanctification process will be complete when i die and I will not fail myself anymore, those that love me, and most importantly the God who loves me and the Savior who freed me. For now... my plan is to try to focus on Christ and not me.... not my successes which i should always attribute to the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit nor my failures which are too many to number. As Paul said, ( i think its Paul ) the Spirit is willing and the flesh is weak. As Michael Vick should say, I forgive myself, because Christ forgave me and now I am worth following on more than fantasy football. Today, I will forgive me and move on with Jesus. At least I will try to. :)              

How to catch snowflakes on your tongue.....

        The blanket of snow that fell down onto our neighborhood Sunday reminded me of being a child and the excitement that came along with looking out the window and seeing the wonder of my world turned white. Dad used to come into my room and tell me in his adorable, childlike, excited way that it had snowed so much that it was up to the roof. Most times though , the snow barely covered the grass. I was still filled with a happiness i couldn't explain and really still can't. It had snowed and in Tennessee what that translates to is NO SCHOOL!
     I also remember dad taking us sledding one time. We had the best time together sliding down that hill on that sled. My dad was never afraid to have fun. I love that about him. We went so fast when he was on the back and i laughed a lot more. Everything kind of stops when it snows here and we go buy up all the milk and bread in all the grocery stores because we have an unfounded fear of being snowed in our houses for weeks when usually the snow is gone by noon. Let me tell you how cool it is when your dad after buying milk and bread takes you to an empty parking lot to do wicked awesome donuts in his Ford Bronco! These are the memories that stick with us and comfort us when we become adults with financial obligations that attempt rob us of the joy of making snow angels and catching snowflakes on our tongues. Thank you dad for the memories! I love you!       

Posts you will never see of Facebook

1. Going to pee.... ooops didnt quite make it

2. Im stranded in stall 3 at Walmart... can someone bring me some toilet paper?

3. Just wiped a big nasty booger on my floorboard...

4. I hate all my friends !

5. Man, I need to poop!

6. I just spanked my child with a ping pong paddle.

7. Is marijuana still illegal? cuz i just found a bunch of plants in my greenhouse... message me if you want some...

8. Shhh... I may be pregnant.

9. I just hit a parked car at 1953 Seabreeze Drive and drove off.... hahahah

10. I shot  J.R

To Hoverers Everywhere.....Be a sweetie.... Wipe the seatie !!!!!

I have a bone to pick with all you hoverers out there. There is a moment I have had all too often in my life that I would love a chance to blog about. I am referring to the horrendous times when I realize that I just sat down in a stranger's pee. WHY? WHY does this happen in the age of indoor plumbing, hand sanitizer, motion sensor faucets and paper towel dispensers? This should not be ladies! It has been proven that toilet seats do  not transmit diseases and sitting down will not give you a disgusting skin infection and no one has ever reported a death that has occurred after sitting to pee in a public restroom. SO, my question is this.... WHY MUST YOU HOVER and PEE ALL OVER THE SEAT? Ok, so you would prefer not to sit on the seat.... wonderful! After sitting in your pee I have considered your way of peeing and almost converted to your way of life ! hahah! In the end though I have become a stubborn "sitter". Go ahead and hover away why don't you. Go ahead and get thighs of steel and become a bathroom acrobat. I don't care! However, if you hover and have bad aim and get pee on the seat.... for rational sitters everywhere... wipe your own irrational pee off the seat! Is that too much to ask? I mean seriously, how considerate are you being that, John forbid, YOU sit on the seat but then instead hover with bad pee aim and leave pee all over where a normal pee-er will sit down and experience the mind numbing rage that comes along with this inhuman offense! I beseech ye therefore.... please, if you're gonna hover .... be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!   Thank you and may God bless you!    

What it means to me to be a woman....

Being a woman to me means.....

• Jesus lover and seeker

•  daily wanting to be beautiful and always feel like you are ugly
• wanting to find peace thats just out of reach
• seeking adventure and settling for making the mundane fun
• making the most of a less than ideal situation 
• seeing beauty in brokenness
• unending naivety
• trusting and believing the innate good exists in everyone
• being a mom who tries hard to meet my own expectations and yet always hones in on my shortcomings
• never feeling good enough for the people i love the most
• being a perfectionist
• hearing music in my head when i am happy and letting it flow out in song  
• overwhelmed with the depth of love i feel for my children
• having a desire to surround myself with beauty
• feeling other people's emotions
• a survivor of deep gut wrenching sorrow
• a fighter of conformity
• determined to be genuine even in the midst of expectations to be otherwise
• a lover and celebrator of diversity
• see through and easily readable
• a deep appreciation for all things radical
• Jesus lover and seeker 
• enjoy making people laugh
• desire to make God proud of me in all things